Baby Shower Etiquette: What to Know Before You Go

Attending a baby shower for the first time can be exciting, but it might also leave you wondering about the dos and don'ts. While baby shower traditions can vary across cultures and locations, this guide focuses on common practices in North America and the Western world. Whether you're a first-time attendee or just need a refresher, here's everything you need to know about baby shower etiquette.

Baby Showers 101

Baby showers are celebratory events held to honor expectant parents and "shower" them with gifts and well wishes before their baby arrives. Traditionally, these gatherings were women-only affairs. However, modern baby showers often include all genders and may even be co-ed events.

A typical baby shower lasts about two to three hours. This time frame allows for socializing, games, gift-opening, and refreshments without overwhelming the mom-to-be, who may be in her third trimester.

Baby Shower Guest List

The guest list usually includes close family, friends, and sometimes colleagues of the expectant parents. In contemporary showers, it's becoming more common to invite partners and male friends, making it a more inclusive celebration for the expecting couple’s loved ones.

Baby Shower Gift-Giving Etiquette

One of the central parts of a baby shower is gift-giving! When choosing a gift to bring to a baby shower, here are some guidelines to keep in mind.

Bring a Gift

It's customary and expected to bring a gift to a baby shower. If you're unsure what to buy, common options include:

  • Registry items: Many parents-to-be create a gift registry. Choosing from this list ensures you're giving something they need or want.

  • Practical essentials: Diapers, wipes, and baby clothes are always appreciated.

  • Sentimental gifts: Personalized items or keepsakes can be meaningful.

  • Group gifts: For bigger ticket items, consider going in on a gift with other guests.

  • Gift baskets: For couples, siblings, or friends who want to give something thoughtful, baby shower gift baskets are well-loved. Baskets include multiple small items that are cute, useful, and personal.

Gift Opening

Traditionally, the expectant mother opens gifts during the baby shower while everyone watches. However, some modern showers skip this practice, especially if there's a large guest list. If you're unsure, you can check with the host beforehand.

Conversation and Behavior

Baby showers are meant to be joyful occasions. However, if you’re unfamiliar with parenting or aren’t often around small children, keep these tips in mind for appropriate conversation and behavior.

Keep it Light

Stick to positive, lighthearted topics. Avoid controversial subjects or personal questions about pregnancy or parenting choices that might cross the couple’s boundaries.

Offer Encouragement

Focus on offering support and excitement for the parents-to-be. Share helpful tips if asked, but avoid unsolicited advice. You’re there to honor the family-to-be.

Participate in Activities

Most baby showers include games or activities, some of which are quite silly. Even if they're not your cup of tea, participating shows support for the hosts and the guest(s) of honor.

Food and Refreshments

Baby showers typically include some form of refreshments. This can range from light snacks and finger foods to a full meal, depending on the time of day and the hosts' preferences.

If you have dietary restrictions, it's a good idea to eat something before you head to the baby shower. You don’t want to be too hungry and then realize there are no snacks that accommodate your dietary restrictions. 

Baby Shower Dress Code

The dress code for baby showers can vary, but it's generally “smart casual.” Unless otherwise specified, aim for a polished yet comfortable look. If the invitation mentions a specific theme or dress code, try to adhere to it.

Cultural Considerations

While this guide focuses on North American traditions, it's worth noting that baby shower customs can differ significantly across cultures. For example:

  • In some European countries, baby showers are more formal affairs, often taking the form of elegant tea parties.

  • In many Asian cultures, celebrations are held after the baby is born rather than before.

  • Some cultures have specific rituals or superstitions around pregnancy and birth that may influence how (or if) they celebrate before the baby arrives.

If you're attending a baby shower for someone from a different cultural background, it's always a good idea to ask the host if there are any specific customs or expectations you can help with.

Modern Trends in Baby Showers

Baby showers continue to evolve, with new trends emerging. Here are a few examples.

Baby Sprinkles

As opposed to a baby shower, a baby sprinkle is a smaller, more casual gathering often held for the second or subsequent children of the parents. They focus on "sprinkling" the parents with love and necessities rather than large gifts that they might already have from their firstborn.

Gender Reveal Parties

Some couples combine their baby shower with a gender reveal event. If this is the case, the invitation will likely mention it, and you might be asked to participate in some way.

Virtual Showers

With the rise of digital technology, virtual baby showers have become more common, allowing friends and family from far away to participate in the celebration.

More Baby Shower Tips for Guests

As with most events that come with an invitation, it’s important to be polite and respond before the final RSVP date.

  1. RSVP promptly to help the hosts plan effectively.

  2. Arrive on time to show respect for the hosts and other guests.

  3. If you can't attend, RSVP and thank the parents for inviting you. It's still nice to send a gift or card to show your support.

  4. Remember that the focus is on celebrating the parents-to-be and their upcoming arrival. Your presence and positive energy are just as important as any gift you bring!

Attending a baby shower is a wonderful way to support expectant parents and join in the excitement of welcoming a new life. By following these etiquette guidelines, you'll be well-prepared to participate in this joyous occasion with confidence and grace.


Can’t think of what to gift your loved one for their first baby shower? Consider buying them a subscription for the Baby Connect app, a helpful baby development tracking app for new parents! In this app, families can conveniently track their baby's feeding schedule, diaper changes, milestones, special moments, and more. Give the gift of Baby Connect as a thoughtful way to show your support and excitement.

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