Simple Guide to Patting a Baby to Sleep
For new parents, we tend to overthink and overcomplicate even the “simplest” of tasks. Burping, feeding, making sure they get enough sleep - the list goes on.
Patting a baby to sleep may look easy, but occasionally a bit more technique is involved to get your little one to drift off to dreamland. Let’s look into the nuances of what could be causing your baby to stay awake, how to calm them down, and of course, how to pat your baby to sleep.
Is There A Reason Why Your Baby Is Staying Awake?
If your baby seems to be fussy everytime you lay them down to go or just refuses to close their eyes, there’s likely a reason behind it. This reason is often that they’re overtired, or not tired enough. While there are many clever hacks to get your baby to sleep, you may want to consider adjusting their awake times a bit to make sure they are ready to get some rest.
No matter how much patting you do, if they’re not ready to sleep - or have gone too long without it - they’re probably not going to relax enough to close their eyes. We know that sounds frustrating, and nailing that “just right” target may take a bit of practice and planning - especially for new parents.
If you need help achieving that balance, an app like Baby Connect could be a game changer. You can follow your little one’s habits, sleep patterns, eating schedule, and so much more to completely eliminate the guesswork and change their waking times accordingly. Couple this with the following patting technique, and you’ll find yourself clocking in more quality sleep, too!
Responsive Settling
Patting is a type of responsive settling, which is a way to respond to your baby’s need for comfort as they fall asleep. Moreover, it offers a sense of security ideal for healthy development and can aid with independent settling and sleeping on their own as your baby get older.
Before you resort to responsive settling, first make sure your baby is tired. If they aren’t tired, they may simply want to be cuddled or even play/wiggle around a bit. Also make sure they’re properly fed and changed.
Why Is Patting So Effective For Putting Babies To Sleep?
Many parents’ first instinct is to feed and rock their babies to sleep, and it makes sense. However, if they get used to this method and wake up without food in their mouths, it can be hard to get them back to sleep. Instead of stressing about bad sleep habits, we recommend gentle, rhythmic patting.
This technique is so straightforward and easy to do, but perhaps a bit underrated. It can help even the fussiest of babies, and requires very little effort. While we’re not completely certain, it’s been said that this soft, repetitive tapping on the bum replicates the rhythm and sensation of a mother’s heartbeat in the womb.
As you can imagine, that natural feeling is incredibly calming for a little one who’s spent the first months of their existence in the womb. If your baby was rotated with their head down, bum up in the third trimester (as most babies are), their bums are what was closest to their mother’s heart at that time.
How To Calm Your Baby By Patting
You may have seen videos of people using a baby bum patting machine or even a one of those crazy dancing fishes to tap baby to sleep. While the latter is no doubt hilarious and surprisingly effective, there’s nothing more calming than your baby being in your company.
This side-settling patting technique is simple yet very effective for babies younger than 4 months old. No preparation or tools needed!
Swaddle your baby tightly (but not too tight)
Place them in a very dark room (this promotes melatonin production, helping them become sleepy)
Place your baby in their bassinet (or wherever they’ll be sleeping), rolling them onto their side with one of your hands supporting their belly
With your other hand, rhythmically pat their bottom in an upward fashion. If you’d like to sing them a lullaby or another soothing song, as well, it may only help them relax even further.
If in a bassinet, you could also try rocking and patting them simultaneously
Once your baby falls asleep, gently roll them onto their back
What If Your Baby Won’t Go To Sleep Unless Being Patted?
Again, the method you use to make your baby fall asleep can soon become a habit for them to the point where they won’t fall asleep without it. If you find your little one become entirely dependent on patting to fall asleep, you can begin to wean them off of it.
If they’re already 3 or 4 months old, you can start limiting their pat time. You probably don’t want to go “cold turkey” and just stop one day, because they’re likely going to be fussy or outright refuse to sleep. Instead, cut down pat time, stopping when they’re still awake yet on the verge of falling asleep.
Keep your hand on their bum as a kind of reassurance, but stop patting at this time until they fall asleep. Then, place them on their backs and sneak out of the room. If they begin to cry, give them a few minutes to see if they settle down themselves. Oftentimes, babies will reach a kind of crying “peak” before just heading to sleep. If they don’t, you can go back in and do a bit of patting again - remember not to do it until they’re actually asleep.
Alternatively, if they’re on their back, you can gently stroke their forehead until they’re close to falling asleep or even pat the mattress beside your baby. Remember all of this is designed to be gentle and reassure your baby - trust us, that you’ll both get the hang of it quickly!
