How to Help Your Toddler Adjust to a New Baby
A new baby in the family is always a reason to celebrate! However, their big brother or sister may not exactly be jumping for joy.
Toddlers aren’t known for their sharing, and their vocabulary may very well consist solely of the words “no” and “mine”! Sharing parents is a lot more difficult than sharing a favorite toy, though. One day, you’re the center of attention and the next, it’s all about the new kid.
Luckily, we have a guide that can help make things smoother for everyone!
How Might Your Child React to a New Baby?
Being the firstborn isn’t easy - especially when you’re a toddler! You suddenly have much less of mom or dad’s attention, and you may feel like you’re no longer the baby of the house. If you notice your toddler wants attention while you’re nursing, cuddling your newborn, or changing their diaper, they’re likely feeling a bit jealous.
However, your toddler may also want to show their new sibling love and try to bond with them. Try to encourage this behavior in a safe way, and don’t be afraid to remind them to be gentle. Helping toddler adjust to new baby isn’t always challenging!
How to Deal With Jealousy
It’s very likely - and even expected - that your toddler feels jealous around their new sibling. Let’s take a look at tried-and-true methods that can make things easier for them.
Acknowledge Their Feelings
This isn’t the time to tell them to “get used to it” or scold them. This will only increase their feelings of jealousy, and perhaps even resentment. Rather, acknowledge their feelings and let them know that being the older sibling can be difficult.
If you notice they’re upset, you can instead ask, “Are you feeling sad right now? Would you like a hug or for me to read you a story?”. Letting them know that you empathize with the difficulty they’re dealing with can go a long way and will validate how they’re feeling.
Make Some Alone Time for Both of You
We know it’s not always easy to carve out some time without your newborn, but aim for at least a few minutes of one-on-one time with your older child. 10 to 20 minutes of your undivided attention is even better. If it’s not possible to put your baby down in their bassinet or crib for that long, slings are incredibly helpful and will leave your hands free to play games with your toddler.
Gifts Go a Long Way
Your newborn is undoubtedly going to be receiving a lot of gifts from friends and relatives celebrating their arrival into this new world. Don’t think your older child doesn’t notice the boatload of gifts coming in for their new sibling. While you shouldn’t feel obligated to give your older child just as many gifts, even one or two smaller gifts can go a long way.
This gift can be given to them to congratulate them for being a new big sister or brother. Let them know that being a big sibling is pretty cool! Their gifts could be a new coloring book, a toy, some blocks, a puzzle, book, etc. - nothing huge.
Praise Matters
You shouldn’t be fawning all over your older child all the time, but you should definitely encourage positive behavior. Showing patience while you’re feeding or changing your newborn, helping out where they can, or showing empathy towards their younger sibling is amazing! Statements like, “Wow, thank you so much for handing me the bottle! You’re an amazing big brother/sister!”, can make a world of difference.
By creating a positive association with them helping out, they’ll want to do it more. They will actually start to enjoy being that helpful, responsible sibling who their parents go for if they need something.
Potential Behavior Issues
Judging by the fact that “how long for toddler to adjust to new baby” is a hot topic on all search engines, we know that things don’t always go as smooth as we’d like when a newborn arrives. Let’s talk about some challenging behavior issues your older child may exhibit, and how you can help them.
Regression
You may notice your older child start to revert back to behavior more typical of a baby. You may see them start using baby talk (if they’re an older toddler), suck their thumb, want to sleep in your bed, etcetera.
This can be brought on by a couple of different reasons. One, it could be a sign of them being under serious stress levels. Two, it could be a way to gain your attention. This can be incredibly frustrating, but your patience and understanding is crucial during this time. It’s not always going to be like this, especially when you exhibit empathy with your toddler.
Rough Behavior with Newborn
Your older child may try to express their frustration by acting out physically with their younger sibling. Do not punish them, even though that may be your first instinct. However, you should absolutely make it clear that they can never hurt their sibling (or anyone else).
Anxiety
This can be expressed in many different ways, but these feelings are often caused by the feeling of being replaced or because of separation anxiety. Spending time with your older child and encouraging open dialog, along with reassuring them that their feelings are normal and even expected, can help them greatly.
Prepare for Success with Baby Connect
Using a tracking app like Baby Connect can help you monitor both of your children’s reactions and behaviors to ensure everyone is happy and healthy. This can be a very challenging time in your family life, but trust us, by following these steps you’re well on your way to smooth sailing!
