Why Your Baby Only Wants Mom
If your baby gets upset and fussy unless their mom’s around, you might be quick to assume they're a momma’s girl (or boy). Have you noticed that your baby only wants mom, clinging to her like a little koala? This is more common than you think.
While a baby’s preference for their mother is a sign of a strong bond, it can also leave other caregivers feeling left out—or worse, make it hard for mom to get a break! Why do some babies get extra clingy to their mom? To learn about the developmental reasons behind this behavior and practical tips for managing this phase, keep reading.
When Your Baby is in a "Mom Only" Phase
During the "mom only" phase, your baby appears to have a strong, stubborn preference for maternal care. They likely have several ongoing habits, like:
Crying in distress when their mom leaves the room
Reaching out for their mom when held by others
Refusing to be comforted by anyone but their mother
Calming down instantly when their mom picks them up
Showing a clear preference for their mom during bedtime routines
Fussing when others try to feed, diaper, or play with them
Losing interest in play when their mom isn't involved
These behaviors can happen at certain times of day or during all waking hours. At bedtime, your baby might only settle when you're rocking them to sleep. During mealtimes, they may reject bottles from everyone else except their mother. Even playtime can be affected, with your little one losing interest in toys or games if mom is not directly involved.
While this phase can be exhausting for moms and frustrating for families, rest assured: this is a temporary stage. But it might require a little extra patience and empathy.
Why Does Your Baby Only Want Mom?
There are several reasons why your baby might show a strong preference for their mom. These include biological, psychological, and developmental factors
The Maternal Bond
The maternal-infant bond is natural, evolutionary, and powerful. Whether or not a mother instantly feels connected to her newborn, several biological and hormonal factors play a role in establishing strong bonds between the baby and their mom. Many of the baby’s early experiences with their primary caregiver can develop strong attachments.
Breastfeeding: The act of nursing creates a unique bond and provides comfort beyond just nutrition.
Familiar Scent: Babies are comforted by their mother's scent, which they've known since before birth.
Prenatal Bond: The connection formed during pregnancy continues after birth, with babies recognizing their mother's voice and heartbeat.
Psychological Development
Beyond just physical bonds, the psychological development of a baby can be largely affected by their primary caregivers.
Primary Caregiver Attachment: Babies naturally form a strong emotional bond with their primary caregiver, often the mother.
Quality Time: The person who spends the most time with the baby typically becomes their preferred caregiver.
Responsive Care: Consistent and sensitive responses to a baby's needs strengthen the baby’s attachment, strengthening their expectations of care and dependency.
The World Health Organization outlines the importance of responsive care in a baby’s first three years of life. Because this care significantly impacts childhood development, mothers who provide responsive care may become the baby’s go-to source of safety and comfort.
Emotional Stages
Although tiny and brand new, babies are still human beings. They go through emotional stages like the rest of us. Sometimes, a baby who only wants their mom is in an emotional phase.
Separation Anxiety: Around 6-8 months, babies may become more clingy as they develop the concept of object permanence.
Stranger Anxiety: At 6-12 months old, babies may become wary or afraid of unfamiliar people, increasing their preference for their mom.
Emotional Regulation: Babies rely on their primary caregiver (often the mother) to help regulate their emotions. They don’t yet have the self awareness to soothe themselves or brush off their discomfort.
No matter which factors play a role in your baby's clingy phase, remember that it’s a normal part of their development that will likely pass.
At What Age Do Babies Only Want Their Mom?
Maternal preference is common in babies who are 6-12 months old. This is when babies are developing a strong sense of attachment and may show a clear preference for a specific caregiver.
However, the exact timing of clinging to mom can vary from baby to baby. Some infants may start showing a preference as early as 4 months, while others might not exhibit this behavior until closer to their first birthday. Each baby is unique. Their attachment patterns can be influenced by so many things, including their temperament and the dynamics of their home environment.
Is It Normal for a Baby to Only Want Their Mother?
Yes, it's completely normal for your baby to go through a phase where they only want their mother. In fact, this preference can indicate that your baby is forming a secure attachment, which is crucial for their emotional and social growth.
Typically, babies develop secure attachment when they feel safe, loved, and consistently cared for by their caregivers. This bond helps your baby:
Develop trust in others
Feel confident to explore their environment
Learn to regulate their emotions over time
Build healthy relationships later in life
As your baby grows and becomes more independent, they'll gradually become more comfortable with other caregivers and situations. This preference for mom may actually be laying the foundation for your child's future social and emotional relationships.
How Dads and Other Caregivers Can Help
While your baby may show a strong preference for mom, dads and other caregivers can also build a strong bond with the little one. Here are some tips to help.
Skin-to-Skin Contact: Spend time holding your baby close, allowing them to feel your warmth and heartbeat.
Reading Together: Make storytime a daily routine to create a special bonding moment.
Playtime: Engage in interactive play, such as peek-a-boo or gentle tickling, to build a connection.
Lead the Routines: Dads and other caregivers can take charge of specific routines like bedtime, bath time, or feeding.
One-on-One Time: Spend quality time alone with your baby, gradually increasing the duration to build comfort and trust.
Be Patient: Understand that building a bond takes time and persistence.
Stay Consistent: Regularly engage in bonding activities and routines to reinforce the connection.
By following these tips, dads and other caregivers can help the baby feel more comfortable and secure, easing the "mom only" phase and fostering a strong, loving relationship.
Track Your Baby’s Progress With the Baby Connect App
Babies get clingy due to biological, psychological, and developmental reasons. Remember, this phase is normal and will pass with time. Cherish these moments of closeness with your baby, as they’re typically a sign of a healthy connection.
To keep track of your baby's growth and developmental changes, sign up for the Baby Connect app. Monitor your baby’s attachment behaviors, feeding schedules, diaper changes, and so much more. Download Baby Connect for free today to see how it works!
